Abusive Relationships
What makes a relationship abusive? There are
several types of abuse:
Emotional:
There is no one definition of emotional abuse;
generally, it is a type of abuse that seeks to
harm someone emotionally or mentally, but does
not leave any physical marks. This includes a
variety of things such as: using put-downs, name
calling, blaming the other person or themselves,
playing mind games, threatening to harm someone
(including themselves) or something, intimidation,
and/or insults.
Physical abuse:
Physical abuse is a type of abuse that seeks to
physically harm another person. This may involve
hitting, grabbing, pushing, shaking, and restraining.
Sexual abuse:
Sexual abuse is where one person pressures, coerces,
manipulates, or forces the other person to be
more sexually active than he or she is comfortable
with. This may include rape, inappropriate or
uncomfortable touching, and/or sexual harassment
(unwanted sexual attention.)
Social abuse:
Social abuse is where one person seeks to damage,
control, or even eliminate another person’s
social life. This may include things like constantly
checking the other person’s e-mail or cell
phone, having to always know where they are and
whom they are with, stalking, spreading rumors
about the person, or limiting the amount of contact
the other person has with his or her friends and
family. Social abuse seeks to make someone feel
like they have no one to turn to, and, therefore,
more dependent on the abuser.
Cycle of abuse:
- Honeymoon Phase: This is the phase when both
people love each other, are happy, and enjoy
spending time together. There are no arguments
and very little stress on the relationship.
- Tension Phase: Tension increases because of
a lack of communication or one or both accounts.
Little things start to frustrate one or both
partners and the couple gets into small arguments.
- Abuse Phase: This phase is usually based on
one argument or problem that triggers an abusive
response. Most likely anger, hostility towards
other person, blaming, yelling, intimidation,
etc. This phase does tend to be the shortest
and most damaging phase.
- Regret Phase: The abusive partner usually
feels bad or regrets what has happened and does
anything to make up for his or her behavior.
Once the cycle has started
it is often difficult to break. How do I get out
of a bad relationship?
- The first step is probably
one of the hardest. You have to recognize and
admit that you are in an unhealthy or abusive
relationship.
- Realize that you are not
alone.
- Create a safety net of
friends and family. Tell someone that you trust
that you are in an unhealthy relationship, and
they can help to make breaking the cycle easier,
as well as help you feel safe.
- Help is available!! (Need
Help Link)
- It is not your fault;
no one ever deserves to be abused.
