Pressure to be sexually active seems to come
from all sides: from friends, media, peers, and
society. All of us have been in a situation where
we were pressured to do something that we didn’t
want to do or that made us feel uncomfortable.
Luckily, there are several ways of saying no and
getting your point across. Below are examples
of some pressure lines and responses:
Avoid the situation
all together. If you avoid certain parties
or being alone, you will avoid certain situations
where you might be pressured into doing something
you don’t want to do or will regret later.
Just say no. Keep
saying no until they get the idea. You really
don’t have to give a reason or offer any
excuses.
Pressure line: “Come on, everyone’s
doing it.”
Response: “No! I don’t want to.”
Strength in numbers.
It is much easier to say no if you are in a
group that shares your common beliefs and interests.
Pressure line: “Why don’t we go
somewhere to be alone?”
Response: “No, I’d rather spend
time with everyone.”
Ask questions.
Be sure you know exactly what the person is
asking you to do.
Pressure line: “Why don’t we go
back to my house?”
Response: “If we go back to your house,
who will be there? Will we be alone? What will
we do?”
Suggest alternatives.
Suggest a different activity that makes everyone
feel comfortable and safe.
Pressure line: “Come on, it’s fun,
you’ll enjoy it.”
Response: “I don’t think so. Why
don’t we go to my house and watch a movie
with my family. ”to the park.” to
the mall/store/etc.” call “Jack
and Jill” and see what they are doing.”
Walk away from the
situation and/or people.
Pressure line: “If you don’t do
it, then I don’t want to see you anymore.
Response: You walk away.
Set your boundaries
now. If you have already made the decision
on what you will and will not do, you will less
likely be pressured into participating in those
activities.
Pressure line: “Come on, it’s no
big deal.”
Response: “It is to me, and I have already
made up my mind.”
Use sarcasm or humor
to get yourself out of the situation.
Pressure line: “What are you waiting for?”
Response: “For your mama ????????”
Put the pressure
back on them.
Pressure line: “If you care about me,
you’ll do it.”
Response: “If you care about me, you will
respect my decision and not push me to do something
I don’t want to.”
Yes-No-Yes statement.
A Yes-No-Yes statement is a way to let the person
know you aren’t willing or wanting to
do what they are asking while not damaging the
relationship. The focus is on the activity that
you are saying no to, not the person.
Pressure line: “Why don’t we go
to my parent’s house to watch a movie?
They won’t be home and it will give us
some time to be alone.”
Response:
Yes (Say something
positive about the person):
I really enjoy spending time with you, you’re
great,
No (Give your reason(s)
why you are saying no; focus on the activity
and not the person): but remember we
talked about not being alone together,
Yes(Suggest some
positive alternatives): why don’t
we invite some more friends over and watch the
movie with them.
